What even is feminine energy?
Our life is made up of polarities that allow us to distinguish one thing from another. We know light because we know darkness. We know happiness because we know sadness. The list goes on and on. These polarities, while externally they appear as opposites, are completely intertwined. In other words: you cannot have one without the other. This law of polarity also applies to masculine and feminine energies.
Commonly misunderstood, masculine and feminine energies have nothing to do with gender. A man can exhibit feminine characteristics just like a woman can exhibit masculine characteristics. However, in most cases, a woman will feel most at home in her feminine energy and a man will feel most comfortable in his masculine energy. This does not mean that each gender only has one of these energies inside of them. Just like light and darkness, we cannot have one without the other. Some examples of masculine energy are discipline, structure, decisiveness, drive, stability, and protection. On the other side, femininity is known as connection, compassion, vulnerability, receptivity, and a changing flow of emotion. Both are beautiful in their own unique way, but they can impact our lives the most when we know how to use BOTH of these energies.
We are currently living in a very masculine society. We see it disguised everywhere, from hustle culture to the intense emphasis placed on material success. Many people are looked down upon for being “lazy” when they are relaxing, reflecting, or simply not doing anything. This leads to men and women pushing themselves to achieve something that they don’t truly want. In fact, many of us are so disconnected from our intuition that we don’t even know what we want. So, we move forwards, too terrified to stop and reflect because we know deep down that we are really hustling towards nothing.
The reflection that we need, the intuition that we have become so disconnected from, is in our feminine energy. The intense pressure placed on all of us has pulled us deeper into a life of “doing, doing, doing”. We are scared to simply be. We believe that we need to work in order to deserve rest. While we may feel like this willpower is the only way to be successful in relationships and business. I will show you that this is not the case.
Why We Need Feminine Energy
You wake up after your deep, 8-hour slumber. You take a moment to lay in your bed, watching the early morning sunlight glimmer through your windows. You are in no rush. You set your alarm a bit earlier today so you could take your time. A small smile rests on your face as you think about the day ahead of you. Slowly, you stand up, make your bed, and drink some water.
Suddenly hearing a buzz, you notice your phone on your bedside table. It lights up, inviting you to read the notification displayed on the screen. You begin to move your hand to pick it up, wondering who would text you this early in the morning. Then, you catch yourself. This can wait… You turn your phone face down and continue with your morning.
Your mind is clear. You do some light stretching/exercise, make a nutritious breakfast, and journal about your intentions for the day. You are not stressed out about that meeting you have at work, or that date you have later tonight. This is your time to simply be. You enjoy the little pleasures, like taking the first sip of your coffee or just going outside and letting the sun shine on your face. You know that once you go to work, go to school, or whatever it is that you do, you will be completely focused on the task at hand. So, you take this time to be with yourself and enjoy your own company.
Now, because you took this time for yourself in the morning, you noticed that you were way more productive at work! You were even more patient with your partner after they forgot to do the dishes. The energy that you cultivated in the morning stayed within you throughout the day, flowing into everything that you did.
This is the power of feminine energy, the power of pleasure, the power of being, the power of staying in the present moment. Just adding a simple morning routine to your day can make a tremendous difference in the way you present yourself and do your work. However, you don’t need to have a two-hour long morning routine in order to experience this power. It can be as simple as introducing a 5-minute meditation to your morning, taking the time to cook a breakfast you actually enjoy, or just setting your alarm a bit earlier so you can take your time while getting ready. I will include a bigger list of all the ways you can introduce some feminine energy into your morning, day, or night at the end of the article.
Ok… but How Does It Work?
You may be a bit skeptical about everything I’ve said so far. After all, how could sitting and doing nothing for 5 minutes really affect the whole rest of your day? I’ll explain:
This practice is not exactly about the AMOUNT of time you spend, but the QUALITY of time. For example, if you sit and “meditate” for 5 minutes, but really you are stuck in your head thinking about all the things you need to get done today, it may not have a positive impact on your day. Having said that, if you sit for 5 minutes and truly feel grounded in the present moment, it’s likely that this groundedness will stay with you as you go about your day.
Anything you do that you get pleasure from will help you be in your feminine energy. Genuine pleasure isn’t doing something for a particular purpose necessarily, but rather doing something simply because YOU WANT TO. This can be a hobby like dancing, writing, drawing, or making music. The more creative it is, the better. When you are in your creative space, you have a superpower. This superpower comes from being connected to your inner being. If you are truly aligned with your feminine energy, you will find that creativity flows out as smoothly as water. Once you practice finding this place of creativity inside of you (even for just 5 minutes a day), you will become better and better at using it in every area of life.
Your creative feminine side does not NEED anything, unlike the masculine which craves a sense of purpose. If you learn to connect with your feminine, you will be able to participate in the game of life while also having that place of security within yourself. In this place of security, you know that whether you win or lose, stay together or break up, stay or leave, everything will be ok.
When you take action from this place of peace and security, you will find that things in your life work out much better than when you act from a place of fear and insecurity.
Things You Can Do To Be More In Your Feminine
These are some things that may help you get into a place of peace, pleasure, and presence. Some of these activities are easy to incorporate into a busy workday, while others require some time to be set aside.
Remember that some of these activities may not resonate with you, and that’s perfectly okay. The beauty of feminine energy is that each of us will have a different method of accessing it. What works for one person may not work for someone else. But, if you do see something on this list that seems appealing to you, I encourage you to give it a try. Even if it seems small, I promise you it can make a huge difference in your life.
- Dance. Really express yourself here! Put on your favorite music when nobody is around. Don’t worry about how it looks, just let your body lead you!
- Meditate. Meditation is all about watching your thoughts as they pass by like clouds. Be the observer. If you get lost in a thought, that’s totally fine, just notice it and stay aware.
- Yoga. This does not need to be an intense workout, in fact it’s preferred if this yoga is calm and allows you to really connect with your body. Feel the sensations fully, even if they are uncomfortable.
- Enjoy nature. Nature is the epitomy of feminine energy. Go outside, even if it’s just in your backyard, and take notice of the smaller details. Be aware of the connectedness of everything, and how you are a part of that connectedness.
- Allow yourself to RECEIVE. If someone compliments you, don’t deflect it, RECEIVE it. Allow others to assist you if you need help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t need to prove your worth by doing everything yourself. Let go and allow others to help.
- Journal. This is a great way to reflect and learn things about yourself. There doesn’t need to be a topic or a prompt, just allow your thoughts to flow and see where they take you.
- Take care of your appearance. Do it for YOU, not anyone else. This can be whatever makes YOU feel attractive and confident, whether it be wearing cozy clothes or a full on gown. You do you!
- Give yourself permission to realx. You don’t need to work like a maniac to deserve a break. If you feel tired, you desvere rest.
- Stop trying to make sense out out of everything. Some things don’t make sense. Some things don’t have a clear “purpose”. Allow things to be.
- Spend time with other women. Women naturally radiate feminine energy, however many women still do not know how to do this in a healthy way. Stay away from women who talk down to others, criticize too much,
- Address your reasons for not feeling safe. If you feel uncomfortable with letting go, if you feel like you can’t take a break or stop hustling, it’s critical that you address those issues. It is likely that it has to do with trauma (big or small) in your childhood that keeps you holding on to controlling everything. Find the root of these issues so you can live a more balanced, fulfilled life.
Femininity exists within all of us… We just need to find it.
You may not realize it, but feminine energy has been a part of you your entire life. It is that “gut” feeling you get when something isn’t right. It is that joy you feel when watching animals, children, or the amazing feats of nature. It is the part of you that questions life…
Why are we here? When did this universe begin? Where will I go when I die?
These questions we ask as a child are pure expressions of our inner curiosity, liveliness, and wonder about the world we live in. Although we may grow up, we must not lose touch with this inner child, this inner playfulness. During the times when our egos feel panic and the world seems like it’s falling apart, this inner wisdom tells us that it’s all okay. No matter what, everything is playing out just as it should.
The more we connect with this inner wisdom, the more we will live our lives from a place of joy and pleasure instead of fear.